WHY WORK WITH A CONFIDENCE COACH?
Confidence is the second most common topic that my clients see me for (career coaching is the first!). Don’t we all wish we were more confident? Maybe you’re thinking
- If only I was more confident, then I would finally do…
- X has it so much easier in life because he is so confident
- People would like me more if I was more confident
- Life would be more fun if I was more confident
- My lack of confidence is holding me back in life
If any of the above resonates with you, let’s have a chat. Together we can help you gain clarity about the “mechanics” of your lack of confidence and how to manage them.
THE MYTH ABOUT CONFIDENCE
Confidence is great, but there’s no need to postpone your happiness and success while you wait to feel confident. Let’s clear up this common myth: “I need to have confidence before I can do X.”
No, you don’t! Confidence is the result of doing something that you are not confident in. It is not a pre-condition!
Also, when we speak about having confidence, we often do so as if it were a matter of black or white. Either you have it or you don’t. The fact is that we all are more confident in some areas and less in others. It’s on a spectrum.
HOW DOES IT WORK?
If you were to work with me as your life coach in London or via Skype, we might start by acknowledging all the areas in which you already are confident, and then define in detail what exactly you lack confidence in.
We would then gradually empower you to have the courage to do some of the things that you lack confidence in, at a pace you feel comfortable with. This way we will strengthen both your courage and your confidence. It’s like learning to drive a car. Most people are a nervous wreck during their first few sessions, but their confidence grows through practice until they can drive a car without even thinking about what they are doing.
The exact way we will work together will depend on the cause of your lack of confidence. To become more confident, you may need to:
- learn new skills
- practise skills
- change your mindset
- create a supporting environment
Finally, there is also a powerful learning about becoming comfortable with a lack of confidence. Why? Well, as you become more successful in life, you will increasingly be thrown into new challenges where you will lack confidence initially.
For example, imagine you start a new job as the head of a department at a new company. It would be quite natural if you lacked confidence at the beginning because you don’t know the people, the company and their systems and process. And this lack of confidence is good! If you were too confident at this stage, you might make false assumptions, fail to listen to others and become less effective as a leader. A certain lack of confidence can be useful at times.
I’ve chosen to devote my life to personal growth, both my own and that of my clients. When it comes to confidence, I can totally relate. I used to be a shy child whose confidence was constantly undermined by an overly authoritarian father. The struggle for confidence has been part of my own growth journey long into adulthood.
Am I now a man with a Harvey Specter-like confidence? No, that’s not really me! But I am confident enough to make myself vulnerable each and every day and to do things that feel scary and uncomfortable: for example, when I coach, run workshops, network, post videos on social media or when I give public talks.
Now, over to you: I would love to hear from you about the areas in which you would like to improve your confidence. How could tackling this improve your life and wellbeing?